What would my funeral be like?
I know you probably want to reject death in Jesus name as you read this. Trust me, the African girl in me would have done the same.
When I was younger, I thought I’d live up to 75. 75 because I believe that living longer than that would mean that I’m a burden. So at 75, I should have two kids who also have their own kids. I should have traveled to my dream countries, helped about 200 out-of-school children to be in school, gotten everything I wanted out of life, been a role model, and helped others find their feet in life. Yeah, I’d be fulfilled by just that, but I’ve also lived long enough to know that I might not even live up to 70, and it’s not an untimely death; it’s just my time.
My biggest fear used to be dying when I was just getting to the peak of my dreams. You know that prayer we pray? “God, don’t let my glory or harvest meet me in my grave.”
I’ve read and witnessed stories of how people die, and suddenly, the whole world knows about them. They start getting the fame they worked so hard for when they were alive, and I’ve heard people term it “His harvest met him in his grave.” Man, I used to be really scared of that; I’ve imagined it happening to me too. I’ve asked myself questions like, “When the dreamer dies, what happens to the dream?” Yeah, the dream dies too. I mean, why have goals if we’re not even certain that we’ll be able to achieve them? Life, indeed, is enigmatic.
When I lost a close friend in 2020, I had questions. I had questions because my friend was intelligent, brimming with dreams, the best in his class, and the only child of a single mother! So, why did death take him? I remember how I also lost a childhood friend in 2017; she died with her brother on the same day. Their mom raised them alone too. So, why death?
I pray I live a long life, but c’mon, you would agree with me that people who die young at one point also pray for a long life. Have you ever wondered why babies die? even after several prayers for long life by different people when they’re born? Prayers like “Olorun a wo, Olorun a dasi.” i.e. (May God guide and give you long life). I’m beginning to wonder if perhaps God doesn’t answer prayers for longevity. Maybe what we term “untimely death” is God’s timing? Or maybe God isn’t in charge of death? and we’ve been praying to the wrong person? Since God doesn’t perpetrate evil, maybe death isn’t a bad thing after all? Maybe it’s just a gift?
But then, what would my funeral be like? Don’t ask me why I’m thinking about my funeral; I won’t be the first person to die. I can hear you whisper, “God forbid.” Yes, I still want to live up to 75, but what if that’s not in the cards?
When someone dies, the people close to them write tributes; they cry like they’ll never recover, and then they tell themselves stuff like, “Don’t be sad; Esther will be happy for you to move on.” and then they move on.
Plot twist: I won’t be happy if my friends move on after I die. Hey! At least mourn me for about 3 years or name your children after me so you don’t forget who I was. LOL
Maybe that’s just what my funeral would be like. I would not even be around to witness it.
I’m learning to live in the present because whether I live up to 25 or 75, I will not leave this world alive.
