What should I do when I don’t feel Christian enough?
The feeling didn’t start in a day, though. After making a post last week about how on some days, I don’t feel Christian enough, (you can read it here in case you missed it), I took some time to pray about it. I have a small journal where I write letters to God. Yeah, I call the journal “Letters to God.” I decided to read all the letters I’ve written to Him since the beginning of the year, and I noticed a change in how I was writing. Then I realised that this feeling didn’t start today, and because I didn’t deal with it right away, I let it grow until it overwhelmed me.
I realized that I’ve been feeling this way since April, and I allowed it. In one journal entry from early April, I had written, “God, I feel like I’m failing You. I don’t know how You can still love me.” By June, I was writing, “I’m not sure if I can call myself a Christian anymore. I’m not feeling it.”
Hey! Christianity is NOT a feeling. Funny how I wasn’t even aware of this till I was praying and the Holy Spirit said, “You know this feeling didn’t start today, right? What did you do when it first started?” Hmmm. To be honest, when it first started, I just allowed it.
What should I have done?
I should have prayed. Listen, it’s not like I wasn’t praying before. It’s not like I wasn’t fellowshipping with God even during those times, but my mindset had shifted. Without realizing it, my prayers had started to reflect my doubts. So, even when I prayed, I was praying with uncertainty. I was praying in my feelings. My prayers became more about my feelings than my faith. Instead of praying with the confidence that God hears me and loves me, I was praying with a sense of unworthiness and sometimes, I just don’t feel like praying. PS: I still pray on those days though.
I once read that when you don’t feel like praying, that’s when you need to pray even more. If you usually pray for 30 minutes daily, that’s when you should consider praying for 3 hours. The devil doesn’t back down, so we shouldn’t either.
Read the Bible. There’s no better way to live above your feelings than through the word of God. The Word of God is a light to my feet and a lamp to my path. I can’t live without it. My feelings may fluctuate, but it is through God’s Word that I am not overwhelmed and moved by them. The word of God brings clarity and confidence. The word of God brings peace. Yes, some days I don’t feel Christian enough, but God’s word says I’m Christian forever, and that’s all that matters.
Go to church. Whenever you feel this way, the next thing is not to avoid the church. You know how that feeling makes you not want to be among the brethren? Yes, that’s exactly when you should spend more time with God with other believers. Do you drop out of school because you don’t feel like going to classes and writing exams? Aren’t there days when you don’t feel like resuming at your 9–5, but you have to because you know what is at stake? Do you close down your business because you no longer feel like running it?
And if the reason why you ever feel like you’re not Christian enough is because you’re struggling with an attitude or habit, I want you to know that habits are formed as a result of accumulated experiences, so they won’t disappear overnight. No, I’m not saying you should keep up with the habit or attitude; I am saying that you should not be too hard on yourself. Stop seeing yourself in Christ based on how you think others see you. Don’t let “What would people say?” shape your perception of how God views you Always remind yourself that that is what Christ died for. He took on our imperfections and sins so that we could be made whole and perfect in Him. Stop dwelling on yourself; walk in the reality of what God has done. Your first response is not to turn away from God whenever you’re feeling this way; instead, talk to him.
As a child, I always wanted to impress my parents. I was so scared of letting them down that whenever I did something wrong, my first thought was, “What would my parents do? They’d kill me.” I was more worried about how they would see me and I felt like I had disappointed them.
I think a lot of us have this same mindset about God. We think that when we mess up, He will be angry and disappointed. But God is not like our parents. He won’t forsake us. His love is unconditional, and His grace is forever, no matter how many times we fall. When we make mistakes, we shouldn’t say, “What would God think?” Instead, we should say, “I have to talk to God about this.” He’s a good good Father.
Hey, believer, don’t dwell in self-pity. Jesus loves you. God is not disappointed in you, and He’s working on you. Allow Him.
Thank you for taking time to read ♥️♥️
