Playing the victim: Yes, my life turned out miserably, but I blame others for it.

I grew up not knowing how to take responsibility for my actions and inactions.
It’s like something happens, and there’s always someone to put the blame on. Oh! I blame my dad; he wasn’t always available. The reason I failed is because my mom didn’t allow me to prepare well. I ended up like this because XYZ didn’t give me the opportunity. It was easy to point fingers instead of owning up to my part in things.
But as I grew up, I found out that there are people in the worst situations doing the exact thing I always complained about.

I grew up taking the blame for the mistakes my mom made.
“Esther, the reason I couldn’t do what my friends are doing is because I gave birth to you. I even tried to abort you, but no drug worked. If I hadn’t given birth to you when I did, my life would have turned out better.”
Yeah, I blamed myself because I’m the reason my mom didn’t live the life of her dreams. Then, I met other women who had the worst experience than my mom, and they’re doing excellently well for themselves. So, I stopped blaming myself. I am just a product of her decisions; I shouldn’t be taking the blame.

I’ve watched my mom blame different people for how her life turned out, but I’ve never seen her blame herself. I’ve seen her talk about her problems and worries and who is to blame. I’ve seen her blame her mom, my dad, her siblings, her sister, her late brother, and her first boss, but never herself. And really, I caught the attitude too, except that I grew out of it earlier. If there’s ever something I’ve learned, it’s to know the role I play in my own suffering.
 
I wish my mom could see that her attitude toward failure is why she might never be who she wants to be.

How do you react to things? Do you blame others, or do you accept that it has happened, and then you move on to the next available option? See, blaming others for your own misfortune is natural. There’s this human urge to want to put the blame on someone else; it’s a defense mechanism, or maybe I should call it an escape mechanism. We all don’t want to be seen as incompetent, so we want to blame it on someone else. Hey, the fact that it’s normal doesn’t mean that it’s the right thing to do.
If you keep trying to escape from your responsibility, it becomes a habit, and that habit might make you journey in circles throughout your entire life, so choose your habit.
I read something by Brian Tracy that hit home: "Every time you blame someone else or make excuses, you give your power away. You feel weakened and diminished. You feel negative and angry inside. Refuse to do it." And that taught me that average and mediocre people always blame their failures to make progress on the people and circumstances around them. I’m sure you don’t want to be mediocre.
Life will always happen; Do you sit back and play the victim? Or do you take control of your life?

Let me tell you what playing the victim does to you. Playing the victim will make you think that there’s a Messiah somewhere coming to save you because "someone made you what you became so someone has to get you out of it." I’m sorry to break it to you, but nobody is coming to save you. Your life is 100% your responsibility.
To avoid situations where you will explain without any evidence, always remember that your life is yours.
Own your story.