I left the house with my mum and sister as early as 5 AM because my trip was scheduled for 6 AM (even though we didn’t actually leave until 8 AM). We drove to Libra Motors Station, and it felt like my family was throwing me away. Like, I understand that I haven’t been a perfect daughter, but please give me one last chance. Lol
My intrusive thoughts started rolling in immediately. I just kept asking myself questions like, “What if I die on the road?” "What if I never see my family again?"
Because of this, I made sure to take pictures at every state we stopped at and sent them to my parents and friends. It looked like I was updating them about my journey, but I knew the real reason. If anything happened, at least they would know the last state I entered before I was called to glory. I was terrified tbh.
The first thing I liked about the journey was the bus. It was super comfortable. We even had personal TVs, and I connected mine to my phone to watch a Korean series, The Whirlwind. Do you see why my friend called it a low-budget luxurious bus? Lol.
We had a stop at Ore, Ondo State, where I bought suya and their ridiculously overpriced jollof rice and chicken. Tell me why I was tasting crayfish in jollof rice? Even in the fried rice? Sigh. Some people really don’t know when to stop with this crayfish thing.
Our next stop was Asaba, and in my innocent mind, I thought, oh, Abia should be just two hours away now. Laugh with me, guys.
To make things worse, our bus’s speed limiter wouldn’t let it go above 120 km/hr. It’s a federal government policy to curb road accidents, which makes sense. But let me not lie; with the way our bus was built, it had the potential to fly.
Another thing I found amusing was the fact that Libra Motors drivers always wear suits. It’s giving corporate professionalism meets road trip chauffeur. I think it’s kind of cute, though.
Now, let’s talk about the numerous checkpoints. Or should I say money collection points? Because that’s exactly what they were. You’d think with all the supposed “security checks,” road kidnappings would be a thing of the past. But nope. It’s almost like their main job was collecting money, not actually ensuring safety. Thankfully, since I used Libra Motors, our bus didn’t face any stops or checks on the road, which was another thing I appreciated about the journey.
I met other corpers on the bus too, and it didn’t take long before I realized we were all a bunch of failed NYSC direct postings. Hehehe.
I met Adeola, Micheal, Tessa, Odunayo and Deborah. They all shared their experience of how they felt when they saw Abia State on their portal, and that was when I knew that we all felt almost the same way.
I also met a man named Mr. Stephen Mbalu on the bus. He was actually headed to Imo State, but we were on the same bus. He told us stories about how NYSC was in his time, and guys, I’m talking 1995. Back then, they had to travel all the way to their school just to register for NYSC and then travel again to pick up their call-up letters. Thank God for technology o, because I wanted nothing to do with OAU again.
By the time we finally arrived at camp, my spirit had left my body.
Okay, enough about what happened on the road.
What happened in Umunna, Bende?
If you think registration for NYSC was stressful, wait till you get to camp. The moment I stepped down, I knew I was in trouble. But my God is bigger than any trouble! Amen?
First, they assigned me to one horrible-looking hostel. I was like, “Is this where I will stay for 21 whole days?” God abeg. It didn’t even help that there were neat and new hostels, but because I got to camp late, nothing for me. I wasn’t ready to settle, though. I entered the fine hostels to look for space. I just needed one space, and, thanks to God, I found one. Along with it, I met the best bunkmates you’d ever pray to meet in camp. Jummy, Tosin, and Rejoice (Mummy Dayo). We did everything together, and Jummy is my “boy gist buddy”. You guys know my camp story won’t be complete without talking about boys abi. Mummy Dayo was our camp big sister. She’s such a kind person tbh. You’d think our parents called her to make sure we’re taken care of.
I think the only reason why I could say camp was fun was because of the people I met. My bunkies, Adeola (we met on the bus), and other people because one thing about NYSC camp? You cannot survive alone.
Wait. Why can’t I remember things that happened in camp again? Give me some minutes guys...
Oh. I thought I had a strong immune system till I got to camp. Everybody say food poisoning! I was at the camp clinic like twice or 3 times mehn. Emi strong woman.
There was this fine soldier in camp. My bunkmate, Jummy had a crush on him. I think almost every girl in camp had a crush on him, though, well, except me. He broke my bunkmate’s heart when we found out that he had a babe. Anyways, you win some, you lose some.
Camp was stressful. We woke up at 3 AM every day except on Sundays. My God, every time I wake up in the morning, I always sigh in deep frustration, like let this just end.
Abia camp is a muddy place, and so we had to wash our whites every day. We even had to wear two different clothes every day except you want to be seen as a dirty person sha but as for me and my girls, we’re never to be caught unfresh.
I joined the parade group even though I had already said I would not do anything in camp. I sha joined the parade group. Thank God my legs didn’t fall off. The worst part was the sun. That camp sun had personal beef with us. Thankfully, my platoon came 2nd in the inter-platoon drill competition.
The Toilets
I don’t even want to talk about this too much before I start crying. Just know that if you ever enter an NYSC camp toilet and come out alive, you deserve a national award.
Some people didn’t even bother using the toilets. They chose nature instead. One night, I went outside and almost stepped on something I will not describe.
Bunch of failed direct postings
You guys remember when I said that it didn’t take me long for me to realize that almost every corper in Abia was there because their direct posting failed? Yes. It was even crazier that 9 out of 10 everyone I spoke to had plans to redeploy. I was just praying that my relocation is successful because I can’t lie, I’d rather abscond and disobey the clarion call than to spend one year of my life in Abia. And no, staying one year in Abia isn’t God’s plan for me. And I also met some people who actually paid to be posted to Abia. Something I got for free my fans.
Let me make you guys laugh. My other bunkmate, Tosin, said she didn’t pay for direct posting because she wanted God’s plan. And guess what? She got her answered prayers, which is Abia. Because, you know, Abia State: God’s Own State. Lol. My sis redeployed sha. It’s giving “I want God’s plan, but not this type.”
Ola, the fine boy
I can count the number of fine boys I saw in camp. I don’t even think they were up to ten. And ten is me being generous. But there was this particular one in my platoon. I didn’t notice him at first, but remember I mentioned that my bunkmate was also my boy gist buddy? Yes. She was the one that told me about him. Although he’s a fine boy, he didn’t have sense like that, so I didn’t waste my crush.
Mammy food
I made sure I only ate from two food vendors throughout my three weeks in camp. One vendor for noodles and eggs, and another for everything else. Their food was nice. Well, sometimes.
I also tried Afang soup and Oha soup in camp. The plan was to explore Igbo delicacies, but I had to remind myself that I didn’t have access to a good toilet.
Another thing I discovered in camp is the fact that Nigeria wakes up by 6 AM and sleeps by 6 PM. I think it’s funny, and what’s even funnier is how the soldiers make a big deal about it. You have to stand straight by 6 and let them blow the bugle. Ever since I left camp, Nigeria has been sleeping and waking up o. Ptcwww.
SAED sleeps
Shebi we were supposed to be learning during SAED? But that’s when I get a two-hour nap. I still wonder how I was able to sleep in that uncomfortable sleeping position. I place my head on the chair in front of me, or I lean back on my chair and wear dark shades. And like that, my nap will be complete. safe for the time when Man O’ War or one oversabi camp police will keep tapping me and asking me to wake up.
It even got to a point in camp when I started seeing soldiers in my dream. I even dreamt that I escaped from camp. Lol
I also remember when my camp buddy, Adeola, was asked to take exeat from camp due to health issues. I wish I could follow her then. It felt like I was alone in the world, but thank God I survived.
Supernatural Provisions
Another thing I am grateful for was the supernatural provisions. Guys, people sent me money o. If I calculate well, it will be entering 6 figures. I can just be telling God I need money now, and the next hour, someone is asking for my account details. God was there for me financially.
Peer Pressure
I used to think peer pressure only makes you do things outside your limit. But I also realized that peer pressure can make you shrink yourself too. Tell me why I started feeling bad for always buying food at the mammy market because people around me were going to the kitchen. So much that at a point I’d collect kitchen food too? And that kitchen food was not only horrible, it was the reason why I had food poisoning, and that was when I knew that peer pressure might get me killed.
I represented my platoon in a public speaking presentation.
I joined the SAED public speaking class. Although my initial plan was to join catering, I knew I wasn’t going to gain much. I learnt so much in the public speaking class, and I represented my platoon, too. I stood in front of over 2000 people to speak. Was I scared? Yes. I was even panicking. My bunkmate was just cheering me on; if you watch the video, you’ll hear her telling people to clap. I will share the link to the video because I uploaded it on YouTube for my Medium audience. Leave a comment, please!
The Last Day of Camp
I remember how I felt the day before we left camp. I had mixed feelings. I was relieved because, finally, I could escape the camp's torture. sadness because, despite everything, I had already formed a little camp family. I was going to miss them. However, I still feel like I didn’t fully enjoy camp because I was so focused on leaving camp that I didn’t fully enjoy the moment.
The morning we were to pick up our PPA letters was even tenser. Everything I did in camp was because I knew I would be leaving Abia State in 3 weeks. So, if my platoon leader should give me a PPA letter, it means that my relocation didn’t work. I saw people’s faces shift from hope to disappointment. From the excitement of “I am finally going home” to the quiet resignation of, “I am going to be here for a year”. Some people screamed with joy while some others just sat on the floor and began to cry
As I walked to the pavilion, I kept reminding myself that no matter what happens, I will not stay back in Abia State.
Let me stop here for now. I’ll continue with what happened next in the next episode.
