At what point did you realize you were becoming an adult?
The moment we feel like we are adulting is different for everyone. Some people start feeling like adults when they have to buy their own clothes, take care of themselves, or make decisions themselves. Others feel it when they go to university and have more freedom, like not needing to ask for permission to go out. I can relate to that too, as I remember how things were different when I was younger. I used to have to practice for days before I even had the guts to ask permission to go out with my friends, and the funny thing is that, after weeks of practice, I might still not be allowed to go out, but now, a simple notification to my parents is enough.
Everyone’s realization of adulthood is different, with special moments that shape how we see responsibility and independence as we grow up. In a conversation with my friends, these 3 experiences stood out for me:
Lady A: When I was six years old, I stayed with my grandma. One day, I did something wrong, and she got very upset. She packed all my things and said I should go to my dad’s house, which was just a short walk away. But I couldn’t go.
You see, I always wanted to have a life like other kids, one where I could stay with both my mom and dad. I wished to be a part of a complete family, but that day made me realize that it could never be possible. My dad didn’t seem to want me, and my mom had moved on and remarried. It made me sad because I understood that some things in life can’t be changed or gotten.
I pleaded with my grandma that day, begging her to let me keep staying with her, hoping against hope that it might change my situation. From that moment on, I made a promise to myself that I would be on my best behavior and not do anything to upset my grandma, so she wouldn’t send me packing again. It wasn’t an easy decision for a young child to comprehend, but it was a lesson that stayed with me throughout my life.
As I grew older, I learned to accept that some things in life can’t be changed or achieved, no matter how much we desire them. It was a tough reality to come to terms with. I grew up knowing that some things are a luxury, and being with my parents is one of them.
Mr. B: As I grew up, I realized that the belief that kids know nothing is just self-delusion because I knew things that adults knew even when I was just 5 or 6 years old. Other kids around me seemed to know things too. I remember when I was about 6 or 7, there was an old woman around my dad’s office whom I interacted with. After talking to her, she would say, “That boy is very wise; he comforts me with soothing words about my circumstances. Omo àgbà ni” (meaning a wise child). 😄 But to be honest, I think I was just repeating what I heard my parents say. .
Let’s skip that part. .
When I turned 18, I had the opportunity to travel with an uncle to work in a nearby town, and that’s when I felt like, “Yes! This is what adulthood is like! Fending for yourself and facing every reality that comes withit I guesss that’s part of the dawn of adulthood for me. And since I got into OAU (Obafemi Awolowo University), adulthood smiles at meevery day. .
Lady C: I realized I started “adulting” when I was just 7 years old. It was the first time I saw my parents fight, and it was a serious argument. Before that, I didn’t know they fought, or maybe they kept it from me. Family members intervened to settle the issue, and they told my mom to be careful with her words because I was still too young to witness such things. .
But my mom replied in Yoruba, “Let her hear;, she’s no longer a kid.” ”
From that point on, until they separated when I was 16, I witnessed my parents’ fights almost every day, and I had to become the mediator between them by settling their quarrels. I wasn’t allowed to play or laugh when they were arguing because I was expected to understand and read thesituation. .
I took on the role of a peacemaker and became the dependable shoulder for my siblings to rely on even till now.
I remember one time when I went out to play with my friends when, I was 8, and my parents just had a fight, again. My mom called me and said, “Don’t you think? Why are you acting foolishly like a child? Can’t you sit down to cry and understand the situation on ground?” Thinking about it now, I wish I had responded with “Mum, I’m only 8”, but I don’t think that would have changed anything. .
So, yes, I realized I had started “adulting” at the young age of7. .
I used to believe that adulthood would arrive like a clear-cut phase, marked by someone shaking my hand and saying, “Congratulations, Esther. You are now an adult.” But as I look back on my life, I’ve come to realize that we’ve all been adulting all along. It’s not something that happened suddenly, but a continuous journey of growth and responsibility that we experience from childhood to the present moment. .
Adulthood is a beautiful part of life. Even though we often think it’s not enjoyable, it’s actually a valuable time to discover ourselves. As we grow up, we learn that our choices have outcomes, both good and bad. Embracing adulthood is a positive thing, showing us how we can grow and become better versions of ourselves. .
When did you realize you are becoming an adult? Do you mind sharing your story? You can email me at estherboluwaseyi@gmail.com. I’d be happy to read them.
