April & May 2024: Ask me anything, and my default answer is, “I don’t know.”
I didn’t publish my April roundup, and you guys didn’t organise a search to look for me? I thought we all had something going on; I guess I was wrong 😔.
Anyway, here’s what I had planned to publish in April. Unfortunately, I couldn’t follow through because I had a professional exam in May, and all my energy went into preparing for it. Thinking about it now, exam preparation feels like a scam. Why spend four months studying only to have just three hours to take the exam? It’s like cooking: a lot of effort for a short-lived result. Okay, don’t mind me 🙂💀.
April wasn’t a bad month. It was going well until it wasn’t. I think April was weird. It was so weird that I didn’t even notice I was acting differently until two of my friends asked if everything was okay. I’m not sure what went wrong in April, but I hope it never happens again.
I never thought I’d be writing an April summary; I didn’t want to. What’s the point? I’m not really excited about that month. Could it be because the end of April marks 14 days to my professional exam? Speaking of my exam, I don’t think I’ll be taking it anymore. My friends will probably be upset if they read this, but I’ll tell them I’m sorry. If ICAN is still on the cards, let it happen smoothly. I don’t want all these emotional rollercoasters that come with preparing for the exam. In fact, I give up on it. Onto the next thing on my vision board. Maybe I’ll regret this, but I’ve made worse and more difficult decisions. And I’ll still make more.
PS: I wrote the exam 😂
In April, I visited Rovingheights Bookstore for the first time with a friend, and I’m sure I’ll be going there again. My friend got me three books. God bless him. If you plan to go there someday, bring enough money, and don’t forget all your ATM cards, unless you want to become a staff member there, though I’m not sure they’ll need your service.
Photo credit: Me.
I discovered a habit about myself. I often say “I don’t know” without really thinking about it. Even though I usually have lots of answers in my head, I just go with “I don’t know” first before I decide whether I want to give a response or not, but now that I think about it, it makes me seem clueless, even though I’m not. For example, if you asked me what I had for breakfast, I’d probably just say, “I don’t know.” Maybe it’s something I should work on? I don’t know. Yeah, I did it again 😂.
Here’s a funny story. I was in the school library sometime this month and a young boy sat beside me (I really didn’t want to write about a boy, but I can’t let this go 😂). He looked so young that when I saw him, I thought, “this boy reminds me of my junior brother.” He seemed friendly, and I just continued reading my book. You all should tell me why this boy started saying I’m cute. Ah. Young man, what are you trying to do? While he was talking and I was laughing in my head, I saw his library card. He’s a fresher. He asked if I was a fresher too, and I said no. I told him I was in my final year, and he gave me this awkward smile. He didn’t stop there. Then he said, “You know, I’ve always been attracted to older women.” Nothing prepared me for that response! Who is older women? Junior, is something wrong with you?? I just kept quiet and stopped entertaining him. Someone called me older women. Omo.
In April, I spent more time in the school library than in my comfortable bed. 8 a.m.–5 p.m. (sometimes 8 p.m.) wasn’t a joke. I hated it, I can’t lie. Let’s not talk about the overnights either😭. Reading isn’t fun if you’re forced to do it. Like, why do I care about Porter’s Five Forces model? Or even Porter’s diamond? Who cares about Group account or transfer pricing and divisional performance? What’s my own with public finance and whatever I read in Public Sector Accounting and Finance? Sometimes, I would just cry, watch a little Netflix, and continue reading.
Photo credit: Me.
A friend of mine moved to another city, and I really hate goodbyes. I’d rather not see someone often than have to say goodbye to them. When my friends came to Ife for their convocation last December, it was so sad to see them leave. Like, besties, why are you leaving me? 😭 Even though we could go weeks without seeing each other when they were still in Ife, it felt different when they left. I didn’t tell them, but I cried. Now, another big goodbye is coming. In 6 months, I’ll have to say goodbye to more friends; this time, I might actually weep. My convocation is in about 6 months, by God’s grace, even though I haven’t taken my final exams yet. Lol.
Now let’s talk about the month of May.
First, I had my first physical speaking engagement this month. Was I scared? Yes! Did I do it well? Excellent, in fact!
The first two weeks of May were really tough for me, filled with fear and uncertainty. I’m really grateful for the gift of friends in my life. Honestly, I cried a lot. I would look at past performance management exam questions and just start crying. What made me think I was good enough to register for this exam? Who told me to do this? I was terrified that I might fail, and I still am, but I’ve left it all in God’s hands. He is too faithful to let me fail.
One thing I’ve learned is that the fear of an exam is the beginning of failure. I learned this the hard way, and I’m really hoping that I don’t get to face the consequences because I might actually break down. Please put me in your prayers 😭.
So many funny and annoying things happened this month, too. Someone acting like something is their right just because others are being considerate. The moral of the story, stop being too considerate. Put yourself first. You’re welcome 🤗.
I finished my ICAN exams on May 16th and thought I’d finally have my life back, but work and school had other plans. They were like, "Surprise! surprise!!" I haven’t even had time to make my calendar for the month. There are just too many things to do. Whew. Although, I made sure to have a good rest last weekend, I was just sleeping, eating and, “Netflixing”.
So I entered the kitchen today to cook spaghetti, and all I can say is that, I am really the salt of the earth. Guys, I can actually cook o, it’s because I was following one Instagram recipe like that 😭. Never again.
My exams took the major part of the month of May. I don’t really have much to write about, so I guess I’ll see you guys in June?
Thank you for taking time to read. ♥️
